We tend to forget about this topic when everything seems to be running smooth and well oiled in our lives, and I’m not talking about your forks drawer, it is easier to be happy and joyful whistling all the way to your block’s cafe to ask for that cheese board with wine when all aspects of your life or at least most of them seem in their place.
Yes you know, you’ve got the job you wanted, met that special someone you can’t take out of your head or simply your life’s goals seem to begin to look at the reach of being accomplished, or accomplished already! No one could take your throne on the top of the world you have built for yourself.
But what happens when all of a sudden you find yourself in the emotional ditch, confused and even thinking you deserve the punishment of being there for something you may have done or something that happened in your life, you might have lost that dream job you had or the contact with your significant other, or may be you simply are not at ease with an aspect of your body, the things, events or people that surrounds you.
What to do to be happier
For these and many more reasons it is important not to lose sight in what makes us be who we really are, what makes us full and joyful, in what should really make us feel happy and in content, that’s why I’d like to share with you these amazing tips to re-acknowledge what you already know but might be eluding you:
1. Be grateful: For what you already have or what you take for granted, like your health, your home, you are complete and well, be grateful for your current job, even if you don’t truly like it, your loving family whose have always been there for you or your caring friends, surely you have one or more of them, call them now and make an evening coffee appointment, remember the personal sacrifices you have made and the struggles you have lived to get where you already are, say thank you to yourself, for taking you to this moment and this place, where everything is where it should be.
A good practice is to make an effort and not complain about your current situation, don’t criticize others and don’t gossip, do this for a full 21 days in a row to make a lasting change.
2. Give: This spiritual practice always replenish the heart in my opinion, joy comes from the act of letting go a part of you or what is yours in the uninterested benefit of another, it doesn’t matter if it is not something material, you can give your precious time which is more valuable indeed, volunteer in a local food bank, take meals to the poor in the streets, you can always give a smile to the cashier in the local store or even to the grouchy neighbor who’s seemingly never going to clean after his dog has finished fertilizing your yard’s roses, yeah I know, yet even he deserves your love and so do you.
Consider making a periodical donation to children organizations, your local church or some other charitable organization you truly believe in, remember harvesting later in life comes after seeding and not the other way around.
3. Keep the good part: Of every situation, every event, or every relationship, remember you were where you wanted or decided to do something because you believed it to be the best option in the first place, and you may have considered that way with the information available at the moment, so there is no real reason to feel regret or pain, keep in your mind the good moments, kind words and joyful events that occurred while you were at it. Sometimes it’s better to say goodbye than keeping what doesn’t make you happy.
4. Recognize your own mistakes: Meditate deeply about your self and your life, there is nothing wrong with recognizing our mistakes, it wont hurt in any way on the contrary, overcoming pride is one of the most difficult tasks but one of the most gratifying ones, recognizing your own mistakes will not only make you stronger emotionally but improve your character, and it will be a lesson of humility to add to your wisdom bank for later reference.
You can laugh about yourself or the things you did, humor always improves your life, relief stress, and lessen the heavy burden of bad thoughts or memories. Be brave to admit your wrong doings and even braver by correcting them, be confident about you capability to right them, because you are, you have given the first step by acknowledging them.
5. Forgive: Yourself and others, whether it is for something you did in the past to somebody, to yourself, or something someone else did to you, forgiveness is freedom, from thought and heartache, there is no heavier load than remorse or hatred, remember what they say about a hot coal, when yo try to throw a burning-red coal to someone in all the intention to hurt them, you’re most likely the only one being injured, it simply doesn’t work that way.
If it is your marriage you can find ways to make it better or save it!, if it’s your friends you can always try to approach to them and talk, don’t be afraid to send a message, sometimes you appreciate the relationship above the pride even if you know you haven’t made anything wrong, now this doesn’t mean you should let others abuse you, you don’t need to be there nor tolerate it, the only way to forgive is doing it without “having” to, this is for you and no one else.
6. Let go: Let go of your bad memories and even some of the good ones, if there is something in your mind trying to keep you stuck in the past, you need to let it go, don’t remember in pain a horrible occurrence nor dwell in the past forever in a good memory of joy, open your hands, your eyes and your heart, nothing new can enter your life if you’re so full of that which won’t let you rest at peace, whether it was a painful past or a distant memory of happiness if it is stopping you from experimenting the infinite good moments this life has to offer right now and you are yet to live in the future.
Letting go also refers to your current belief system which might be impeding you to fully experience freedom of choice or taking the risks life demand as worthwhile.
7. Laugh: At just about everything! Yes be silly and simple for a day and you’ll love it, laughter is the best heartache medicine, watch a comedy series or movie, meet with those funny buddies from high-school you think you grew apart from, draw a party! I’ll be definitely going to do that now that you mention it, remember that laughter is contagious, so happiness will be more likely follow, don’t let a day go by without finding a reason to do it, children laughter is the most contagious of all, so tap on the opportunity to take a good laugh while playing with them, involve, enjoy!
8. Do what you love: Pretty much whatever you please and not just to please others, of course don’t hurt someone in your efforts but do what you enjoy and fulfill your own dreams and passions, it might be in the form of a hobby or a passion you love, make a change in your career or change your job if that’s necessary, whatever works for you, life to short to not live it fully, experience that kind of freedom you deserve and need, do something to make yourself smile.
Do you remember what you did on your free-time when on high-school?, yes, before you got that whole-awful-day-long job you’ve got now, go and do that!
9. Disregard: What others may think negatively of you, even if it is good don’t ever make it personal, only you know your true value, never give anyone the power to take you down or to falsely lift you up, don’t let them own you by giving their opinion of who you are any real transcendent importance, make your own mark and believe what you are truly worth, repeat it to yourself on a daily basis, remember Einstein was told by their teachers at a young age that he would never achieve better in life because he was “slow” to learn and a rebel.
10. Take Control Of Your Life: Be responsible for your own actions, and even more, confront whatever is not letting you make a move or take a step ahead, change what can or have to be changed, change yourself it that is what needs to be done and the situation demands it, but never settle for less, remember that nothing will go in a different way nor change for better if you refuse to take the steering wheel of your life.
Sure there are hundreds of phrases and recommendations to follow as well as inspirational quotes, I found several hundreds on a quick search some moments ago, there are lots of pretty good ones, I even happen to have a calendar with a different inspiring quote for every day, I like to meditate on them for the day, of course I tend to forget many of them but some will stick to your skull and sooner or later your thoughts will become your actions and your beliefs system will be changed for the good.
You may also search for more of this ideas and quotes on the internet, I tried to write down about what I believe is most important and/or has helped me get through the difficult times in my life, but this will always depend on yourself, so if trying to boil it all down to one simple truth would be in my opinion to LOVE yourself, and love others in the same measure, take care of your heart and feelings as much as you take care for others.