You know when something is wrong in your marriage. The carefree feelings of love and trust aren’t quite so strong, you begin to doubt your significant other, and you find yourself entering into pointless arguments that seem to rehash the same old missteps over and over. These are the signs of a marriage on the rocks.
Of course, there are also more extreme cases, in which cheating occurs, one or both spouses are absent (physically or mentally), or there is even abuse happening. And while these major infractions can have obvious detriments to your health, it is the more insidious problems of day-to-day life that can creep in and cause issues with your health without your knowledge.
If you’re in a relationship that is in any way abusive; physically, verbally, or psychologically; you should know that the impact to your health is going to be massive. Physical abuse, of course, can lead to bruises, cuts, broken bones, and even death if you don’t find a way to escape the situation.
But an abusive marriage can also have a marked impact on your mental health, causing loneliness, depression, hysteria, anxiety, panic attacks, ongoing fear, and issues with self-esteem, amongst other things. The mental scars can take far longer to recover from than the physical ones in these scenarios.
But these mental issues can lead to psychosomatic symptoms like insomnia, fatigue, digestive disorders, ulcers, hypertension, and even more serious problems if the causes aren’t addressed. Your only hope is to extricate yourself from the relationship and being working out your issues separately. It is imperative that you do this for your own health and well-being.
But if you’re marital difficulties are somewhat tamer than the extreme case presented by an abusive relationship, you might not even realize that they’re to blame for the ongoing issues you’re experiencing with your health. You may not think to associate the arguments, loneliness, or overall dissatisfaction with your home life with the sleeplessness, anxiety, body aches, or digestive disorders you’ve started to experience. And yet, the stresses that result from setbacks in your primary personal relationship can have a definite impact on your overall health. Stress, in particular, could be termed a silent killer. Scientists are still uncovering the many ways that stress can lead to physical manifestations, but it seems that the major offender is a decrease in immune function.
This means that issues on the home front could be to blame for the fact that you seem to constantly come down with every cold and flu that sweeps through the area. And when you suffer from an ongoing state of unhappiness, a sniffle could be the least of your worries. You may suffer weight gain (or loss) as a result of high tension at home. This could lead to serious disorders like hypertension (or other heart disease) and diabetes. Your body is telling you that something needs to be done.
Luckily, there are a couple of options that you may want to consider as a way to rebuild your relationship and recover your health. Marriage counseling is at the top of the list, since you clearly need to learn how to communicate. Don’t think you’re the only one, either; this is a sticking point for the majority of married couples. But if your partner isn’t willing to enter the process, or you simply can’t stomach the idea of investing more time in a dying enterprise, then maybe it’s time to call it quits, get a divorce, and get on with your life. When a relationship is unhealthy, you have three options: let things go on the way they are, fix the problems, or simply give up and move on. Unless you want to compound the damage you’re doing to your health, it behooves you to select one of the latter two options.
The 5 Most Common Reasons Marriages End
Relationships often do not last for long periods of time. In order to make a marriage last both persons must be dedicated to continuously working on it even when they may not want to. In some cases marriages do not last. Listed below are the five most common reasons a marriage ends.
Cheating is a big component of why marriages fail. Trust is a big factor in any relationship. If one person cannot trust the other, they will lose faith and respect for the other. Emotions can run rampant. Sex can cause tempers to flare and explode especially when it is with someone else.
If two people cannot agree on how the money that comes into a marriage should be spent there will be problems. When not enough money is earned to cover bills and expenses the debts are charged to both persons. It does not matter who created the debts in the marriage as it is owned by both in the eyes of creditors. One way to combat this problem is to talk to each other and communicate on how income that is earned each month will be spent.
Physical and Mental Abuse
Spouses that are the victims of abuse can be emotionally or mentally impaired. Physical abuse can be seen visually and creates a threat to their life and health. If children are involved this poses an even greater danger. Mental abuse can be much harder to prove, but can be just as damaging if not worse as the pain is internal. Those that find themselves in this situation should seek help and guidance to become free.
Studies have proven that men think of sex more often than women. One of the biggest complaints that men have is that they do not get enough sexual satisfaction in their marriage. This may lead them to find it outside of the marriage. Many women will often withhold sex when they are angry. They may even not participate to manipulate their wants or desires. This can defeat the purpose and make the other frustrated. Other reasons for no sex can be that one or both could be unable perform physically or mentally.
Fall Out of Love
Love is the main reason the majority of people decide to get married. When one or both persons are no longer in love it can end the relationship. Perhaps the person is not who they thought. Two persons can also grow apart or change. Lack of communication is one of the main ingredients in a failing marriage. The other person may not understand why you are upset. You may not know the reasons behind the actions of your significant other. Talking about any concerns that you are both facing will eliminate misunderstandings.
Marriages have a 50 percent chance of surviving. Divorce is the final solution to end a marriage. Infidelity creates a lack of trust. Monetary problems increases arguments and escalate situations. Budgets that are not kept can create debts that both are responsible for. Abuse in any form is a good reason to end a marriage. Sex is one of the ways that two persons can show intimacy towards each other. When sex is not or cannot be performed it is a major reason to leave the relationship. When the love is gone so often does the marriage.
Simple Tips To A More Successful Marriage
To begin in any marriage communication is key, so remember communication, and later more communication.
Couples must be willing to compromise, and show respect in there relationship for if the marriage has no respect for either spouse the marriage will fail. Sadly if he, or she wants ONLY what he, or she wants in a relationship it is easy, but they both must remember to acknowledge what their spouse wants as it is important for them to be counted as well. Being respectful of their spouse’s needs, and wants as well as their own is very important in any relationship.
People should also be kind, and affectionate to their mate to do everything possible to make it a successful relationship. A kiss is an affectionate, and intimate way for them to show love for their mate. But as time continues on there is that unfortunate danger that the kissing may not be as frequent as it once was.
Now for the little things that are so important in any marriage couples need to praise their spouse for those ever important little things. By just doing that simple little thing for him, or her shows there love, and care for each other. Those little things are what makes the marriage…NOT the diamonds, and flowers. Now say thank you! Yes, say it at least once per day. People say it to others all the time, so why not thank him, or her for those little things as well?
People admitting to their spouse when they have made a mistake is the honorable thing to do. Couples must also never be either mentally, or physically abusive, and always forgetting any problems from the past is all good advice for a healthier relationship. Additionally couples should never say something that they may regret while upset for they may be forever sorry for saying it.
To be sexually physical in a relationship, and being sexually available for him, or her is important in any relationship as a spouse would not want to be characterized as selfish in this regard.
Four of the top issues that married couples argue about the most are money, religion, children, and in-laws.
With money being the single biggest reason for divorces, and so making the reason that couples should expose all there debt between them to discuss priorities in the spending. When it comes to religion couples simply have a much better chance of making it if they both belong to the same faith.
As for children we love them all. So than how many children do couples wish to have? And will they allow their children to simply run wild, and out of control, or will they want them to behave? Couples need to come to some type of decision regarding these questions on children, and more. Couples should also talk about how they were raised as children, and with what they are agreeable on, and what they are not agreeable on when raising there own children.
Now for the last of the top four issues that couples argue about most is the in-laws. Couples should also talk about expectations on the in-laws as to how involved they wish them to be in their relationship with themselves.
It would be wise for couples to discuss certain issues preferably early in their relationship, or at least early in their marriage, so they can avoid any future complications on these issues.
Remember every marriage will have bumps in the road ahead, but the more bumps that couples can smooth out early on the smoother the ride will be for them down the road.
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