5 Steps to Control your Emotions and your Life

5 Steps to Control your Emotions and your Life

But why your life? When you lose control of your emotions and of yourself, you’re no longer in charge of what happens or better said how it affects to you what unavoidably happens around, yes and when things go wrong you don’t need to make them any worse.

Getting a strong grip on such emotions doesn’t equal to repress or ignore them, that could lead to a personal emotional collapse and bad decision-making down the road.

According to a study from the American Psychology Association, such repression can lead to increased stress, blood pressure and a loss of communication with those around you, you certainly need to avoid that, you surely have enough problems now.

But how to gain control of your emotions and take the wheel of your life again? I’ve gathered the expert’s best tips below:

1. Know Yourself and the Origin of your Emotions

If you let your emotions make the decisions of your life you’re going to be left with the consequences long after the emotion have disappeared, consider that.

So you should start to take some time for introspection and meditation when you feel bombarded with your thoughts and emotions, try to recognize the common situations that trigger them so you can take steps to control them or avoid them as suited.

Now this doesn’t mean you should just suppress them since that will end up being worse for you, getting to the point of an emotional collapse is no fun for yourself or those around you, instead, accept the fact that they have appeared, that they are yours, embrace them and ask yourself what situation made you feel the way you do in that moment and if it is really that important.

Take notes along the day as your emotions appear, recognize common situations or people with whom you relate those feelings.

Understand that how you feel is only dependent on you and you only, no matter what you or other people think what others have done to you, it’s entirely your responsibility.

2. Avoid Immediate Reaction

You may feel anger or fear or any other sort of negative emotions as a reaction to the issue arising, but before you take any precipitate action you should stop and rethink the situation.

Don’t take any steps or make decisions based on the immediate impulse brought to your mind as the result of the feeling or emotion suffered because of the current circumstances, let a time to “cool down” and allow for emotional stabilization.

Think of another perspective and different ways of confronting the problem other than the original “instinctive impulse” and meditate which could be the best approach for at least 5 to 10 minutes.

Of course we are not talking about life threatening situations here, you wont sit in your car while it burns in flames for ten minutes before you decide to run as fast and far as you can right?

This is more about those life changing decisions you take when deciding things out of the blue like, getting mad at work and yelling at your boss to later find yourself laid off with kids at home needing dinner tonight = Not funny, or leaving your house with the kids because of a relatively unimportant dispute with your spouse that can be solved in a more appropriate way.

3. Take the Required Action when Needed

Something worse than not doing anything to confront or fix the situation that triggers your emotions so hard, is to lose control of them.

After you have meditated about it and considered your options, then the only thing left is to take action, take the wheel and get in control of your own life.

Be loyal to your own values and good reason, take the best steps to ensure you won’t regret the decision you take after deciding on the situation, never let pride or revenge get in the way of your own tranquility and decision-making process.

Rely on the help of others if you feel you need help, go and talk with someone you trust, sometimes a different perspective makes all the difference, besides, if you are still upset or altered by the issue, a fresh opinion could shine new light on your problem, consider the help of a professional if you feel the situation requires it, don’t be afraid or ashamed.

4. Keep a Clear Mind

Keep a clear mind to get what you want and need, but more importantly avoid negativity, it will surely affect your decision-making process, it is easy to expect the worst case scenario when you feel angry, sad, betrayed or so in some way.

Try to keep bad thoughts at bay like “This always happens to me” or “I’m not good enough for this” and the like, they wont make it any easier to keep objectivity when trying to find a solution, make positive affirmations for yourself and everything will come out more smoothly.

Remember, not always the “trust your gut” is the best reasoning or solution, truth is, if you are in a complicated emotional situation, this “gut-feeling” might very well be deluding you.

You can also help your mood and relieve stress to be objective by doing the things you love the most, like watching a movie, going jogging, even going to sleep, that will cool down heated emotions, letting you make better decisions.

5. Focus on the Long Term

And with this stands the taking into consideration the bigger picture, think of where you will be on the long-term with the decision you make and what are the implications for your loved ones.

Will you be proud in the near and far future of the actions you take now as result of your present decisions?, Will what you do now have a positive impact in your life? or Are you acting as revenge or comeback? Important questions to answer before doing anything.

Bear in mind that all this is pretty hard to consider at the time the issue arises, but be confident you will most likely be able to understand it once the “storm” of emotions has settled.


So in summary you could say you shouldn’t act out of your direct emotions when you are in the middle of an issue, allow for the proper time to take action to arrive, keep yourself conscious of your feelings and the decision-making process as it develops.

Don’t doubt to seek for help when needed and allow for some time to think clearly before making a life changing decision, by the same token, do take action when it is needed, just make sure you will be proud of the decision you make today and that it will be of benefit for your future self too.