You are a newbie in dating. There’s nothing wrong with that. Although first-timers get queasy about impressing their dates, you can do that without fumbling or saying the wrong things.
Relax and read on to find out what you should and should not do in your first date with our dating tips for the First-Timer.
If you’re a guy, you have the option to meet the girl at the venue itself, or pick your date up at her place. Either way, you have to show warmth and enthusiasm when she shows up. Give her compliments on her outfit, but don’t overdo it. A simple “you look nice” will suffice. If you’re the woman, on the other hand, reward your date with a word of gratitude and a smile. This is the first step to breaking down any barriers between you and your date. It also lessens the awkward feeling, especially if you don’t really know each other personally.
It wouldn’t hurt, too, if you would exert effort in looking presentable. Prior to the event, it should be clear to you whether the date is formal or casual. Regardless, show up in clean and nice clothes, nothing trashy looking. Some sartorially inspired dates feature couples wearing matching clothes – not that they wear couple shirts but they have pieces that complement what the other party is wearing. If your date prefers smart casual attires, don a boyfriend blazer atop a polo shirt if you’re a guy, and a dress if you’re a woman. Spritz on cologne as well, but make sure that it’s not overpowering.
Second, make your date feel comfortable. Nothing ruins the magic spell better than showing you are surgically attached to your mobile phone. Unless it’s a very important call, keep your phone in your pocket and focus on your date. It would be very impolite to talk AND tinker with your gadget at the same time. It would certainly give your date the impression that you are half-interested in him or her.
Know which questions are right to ask. One of the blunders in dating is prying too much into your date’s personal life. This is okay if you’ve been friends for a long time. However, if you are still getting to know each other, keep these questions to yourself for now.
Keep the conversation light. Inject humor every now and then. It really sounds awkward to ask questions or give statements which have been rehearsed beforehand. Sample topics could be about you and your date’s interests. If it’s books, then you could start asking about your date’s favorite authors or characters. Avoid complicated topics such as politics and religion. These are better discussed in other circumstances. Debates are healthy in some cases, but for first dates, it could become problematic.
To ask about careers may be alright, but there are tricky spots, too. Steer clear of questions about income. Of course, whatever profession your date is into, show interest. If your date’s a teacher, ask him or her how it’s like to teach a class. You could also give comments such as “That’s a great/fulfilling job” and “It would be nice to do something you really love.” Be careful with the comments, however. Make sure that you mean what you say.
Listen to your date. Laugh at the right places, acknowledge punch lines, and nod where it is needed. Make your face express what you say. Smile encouragingly if your date needs it. Also, avoid giving your date history lessons. This means that you pepper the conversation with your achievements and awards. The date is not a job interview. It is not about you. At the same time, don’t just keep asking your date as if you’re simply fishing for information. The conversation must be balanced – it must be a sharing of details.
If it was you who suggested the place for your date, acquaint your date with the menu. Sometimes, it really feels embarrassing to stare at a menu with its foreign dishes and unfamiliar terms. Help your date by suggesting the restaurant’s bestseller.
A typical date would be in a restaurant, but this should not limit your options. You could take your date to the park and just talk under the starry evening sky. You could go to a theme park instead and enjoy the rides. A trip to the bookstore can also be a perfect setting if you’re both bookworms. Sometimes, even a walk along a busy street would spell romance. The important thing is to enjoy the moment and just let things unfold as they are.
Does this mean that you should not give your date a goodnight kiss? Yes and no. Some girls may be reserved and would be offended with guys who are too forward. They could interpret the act as rude and cheap. Gauge whether your date is okay with a peck on the cheek, although that’s a whole lot safer than making out. It’s not that you’re a prude or anything, but dates should be a foray into serious relationships and not flings.
Moreover, guys should take the girl home and ensure her safety. Still, ask your date before attempting to do this. Once the girl is home, the safest thing to do is to bid each other good night, and talk about a possible second date.
It’s not really a brazen thing. In fact, it is wiser than staying up all night and thinking whether there must be a follow-up date. It also lessens the chances of leaving each other hanging in the air. If one of you affirms the second date, then you are in the right track. If the other person hesitates or says “I’ll be busy”, consider that as a no and simply say good night and thank the person for the time he or she has given.
Going on a date need not scare you. All people go through it. Just like everything in life, it could be a success or an utter failure. Whatever the result is, there will always be more opportunities for you to correct your mistakes and make the next date a better one.
