Help me save my marriage from divorce is a common plea many people find themselves thinking, if not saying out loud, at some point in their married life. A life long commitment such as marriage brings with it some challenges and stresses that can lead one to feel completely overwhelmed. That voice inside your head is giving you a warning, and at the same time perhaps an opportunity.
Help Me Save My Marriage: The Cost
Marriage counselors most often hear the request: “Help me save my marriage” from frustrated husbands and wives who have tried many different avenues in order to avoid divorce proceedings. Although almost half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce, the cost in dollars and cents, as well as the psychological costs to the disrupted and destroyed couples and families can be severe and irreparable in many cases. Broken homes have been cited as the leading cause of subsequent bad and criminal behavior in wayward adults. Can you help me save my marriage, the counselor is asked, or begged, and the answer is a definitive yes, but there must be commitment and hard work to undo the negative things that caused the marriage to go on the rocks in the first place.
Marriages just don’t crash all of a sudden. The deterioration process usually takes lots of time, sometimes months and years. The longer a couple stays together, the better their chances of staying together forever, but there needs to be understanding, patience, love, harmony, positivism, and good influences in order for most marriages to work out. When couples cry out, “Help me save my marriage!” they are in effect asking for a magic bullet but there is no magical elixir or abracadabra words that will immediately end their long suffering. To save a marriage requires hard work and dedication.
Help Me Save My Marriage From Divorce: Is Someone Close To You Crying Out?
The first step for a couple that is having difficulties is to acknowledge that they are heading for a divorce. Sometimes this requires an intervention as is the case for drug addiction or alcoholics. Rarely however do other people intervene in the problems of couples, even if they are close friends, and the reason is that it feels like an invasion of privacy to do so. We are taught in this society to respect the privacy of couples and not to give advice or interfere in the affairs of the heart. When difficulties or abuse is apparent however, or when children of divorcing couples are affected, it is certainly time for concerned friends and family members to weigh in with their opinions, wanted or not. They should not wait for permission to do so and even though they may risk the anger of the affected couple, in the end they will be thanked for their intervention.
Help me save my marriage is a common refrain but one that is many times not spoken aloud. Instead, we see it in the suffering of the couples and, more dramatically, in the children and close family members surrounding the feuding pair. Arguments and constant bickering and even out and out fighting can escalate to the point of total dysfunction within a once happy family unit. When one parent moves out many times children feel as if they are to blame and can carry that psychological burden for the rest of their lives.
Save My Marriage From Divorce: The Problem
It is important to determine the severity of the problem. Is it just boredom, neglect, frustration, feelings of lack of respect and being under appreciated? Or are there fundamental differences in the way each you see and respond to the world and the circumstances surrounding your marriage? Is there destructive behavior going on such as cheating, substance addiction or physical abuse? Or are you just so tired of each other that you cannot discuss anything without it turning into an argument? Some situations are more treatable than others, but often you cannot properly diagnose your problem without asking for a little professional help.
Help Me Save My Marriage: Seeking Solutions
Getting help early is the key and there are many valid organizations out there that are ready and willing to help, many times for free. All you need to do is call your local city government offices and they will usually be able to direct you to support organizations that can offer the counseling necessary to save your marriage.
In cases where a couple is too embarrassed to seek professional counseling, or where one spouse is painfully aware of the problem while the other seems completely oblivious, it may be worth considering one of the marriage self help resources that are available. There are full courses that couples can work through together, and books that one partner can start with to get a better understanding of the situation and begin working on the relationship alone before the other is even ready to admit there is a problem or commit to fixing it. The important thing is to do something proactively, because marriages do not remain static (even if it sometimes feels that way), but are constantly evolving. Do you want to positively influence the direction of that evolution, or neglect your responsibility and just hope for the best? If you are thinking “someone help me save my marriage from divorce”, I think you know the answer.