So many women, when they’ve gone through a painful breakup, find themselves asking, “Can I get him back?” – sometimes for months. No breakup is easy. And no two are the same. But in almost every case, there are things you can do to improve your odds of getting your boyfriend back.
First, be nice to him.
You might think this is obvious; but to many people, it’s not. They think that being “tough” and putting someone down is the way to get them to do what you want. Nothing could be further from the truth. Behaving badly just confirms for him that he made the right decision. He won’t want to be with you and that feeling will just continue to grow.
You want him to like you more, not less. Be as nice as you can whenever he’s around. You don’t have to give up your self-respect. But be polite and as kind as you can manage.
And DON’T pretend to feel something you don’t or be someone you’re not. If that’s the only way to get him, by having to act like someone else, then why stay together at all? You’ll be better off with someone who likes you for who you really are.
Don’t dwell on things that went wrong in the past. But don’t forget them either. Focusing on past problems will only keep a wedge between you. But if you do manage to get back together, you will want to remind him of what went wrong, discuss it, and try to work out solutions so they don’t happen again. If you can’t learn from what you went through, you’ll just end up back in the same, terrible place again.
Here are some other things you might be thinking about:
What if my ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend?
Needless to say, this is tough. Not only is he probably infatuated with this new, “better” girlfriend (in his mind, not in reality), but it’s highly unlikely she will want him to have anything to do with his ex. In this situation being nice, not “catty,” and supportive is more important than ever. He needs to realize just how wonderful you really are, and what he’s lost. Hang in there and YOU just might end up being the “new, better girlfriend” again before you know it.
Are there “tricks” I can use to get him back?
Sure there are. People write all kinds of books about how to manipulate and use unfair tactics to get your ex back. Don’t do it. What’s the point? While you might pull the wool over his eyes for awhile – and maybe even win him back – it won’t last. Before long he’ll see what’s really going on… and probably like you even less than he does now. Be honest, be fair, be considerate. That is what real relationships are based on.
How about making him jealous? Will that get him to come back?
This might work. But it really falls into the “tricks” category. Yes, if he sees you with another guy it might make him want you back. It could also make him think you’ve moved on, and reassure him that you don’t need him anymore.
If you meet someone you genuinely like and want to date, go ahead. But don’t go out with someone just to make your ex upset. It’s not fair to your date, to you or your ex boyfriend.
Honesty really is the best policy when trying to win your ex boyfriend back. Try it, and you have a much better chance of getting what you want.
Making up with your ex isn’t easy. There are a lot of issues – emotional ones and practical ones. I’ve been there. I know. I lost my love and got him back.