Trying to make a man want to commit can make women frustrated. You just don’t understand why he won’t take that step. You probably assume he is ready to commit once you have been together for a while, a lot of PDA (Public Display of Affection), sleeping over…etc. Only to find out he continuously avoids it and would even back off if you bring it up and push.
Don’t be fooled by dates, sleepovers etc. That does NOT mean a man wants to commit. Some men may enjoy your company, enjoy sex with you and will do all these things but have no desire for a real relationship with you. You may just be a place filler until they meet a woman they’re truly into.
Why men are afraid of making commitment?
1. Afraid of committing too soon
Men often hesitate when they need to make this important decision. He will keep asking himself if he is making a right choice or is it too early for him to commit. If he is in his early age like 20’s, he probably thinks ‘What if I meet someone better, sexier…etc. later? ‘.
2. He has other options
If he knows you are always available for him and he probably want to try someone else before commit. He is sure he can have everything from you, why bother to make one step further to take more responsibilities?
3. Fear of taking on responsibility.
This happens to a man to he is not mentally ready to take more responsibilities as a partner or husband. Men usually become more mature later than women in same age. Although, he is physically an adult, but he is just not ready to face the reality yet.
4. The timing also matters to a man
He could meet the perfect woman in his early twenties, but he’ll mess it up because it’s not the right time and he is not ready to it. If he thinks the right time is 40 years old for example, a plain looking woman appears in his life at that time may make him want to commit.
5. Concerns from his past experience.
If the other reasons don’t apply to him, then he might just have concerns about making commitment because of his past experience. He might have hurtful experience such as cheated, breakup or divorce, so he is not confident with a committed relationship again.
6. Not satisfied with sex life
This issue is often neglected by women, and women don’t believe this could stop a man committing. If a man’s sexual desire is not meet, he will feel like his relationship is incomplete. He may not bring this issue up, but it stays inside of him and will affect your intimacy in a matter of time.
What makes a man want to commit?
Men don’t commit easily, but once a man commit, it’s totally natural. There is no fear. A man commits when he feels in his guts he cannot live without you.
You can play all the games you want and he’ll never feel it with you. You can be the nicest, sexiest girl and he’ll never feel it with you. Then for some unknown reasons he’ll commit right away with the next girl. She probably will be less pretty than you, less nice, less accommodating, but she just had that thing he could not live without.
What is that thing he could not live without? It’s the emotional nest. A man can fall in love with a woman because of her physical attractiveness, but it only works when sexual desire strikes. When sexual drive is gone, he will feel lonely and empty deep inside of him if he can’t emotionally connect with you. Without this comfortable emotional nest, he can do everything with you but making the commitment.
What can you do to make him commit?
Make him a comfortable emotional nest. Men don’t tell their feelings easily, because the society has given them the label of “strong” or “tough”. Emotional connection requires you understand him as what he is and what he wants.
What should you do?
Ask yourself this question “Do you put enough of yourself into going after what you want from him?” It’s not rare to see a woman getting frustrated with her partner not willing to commit, but never realized she seldom cares about what he want.
I want to share what I heard from a mutual friend who has been in a fulfilled relationship with her husband for more than 15 years. She said,
From the day I started the relationship with my husband, I worked on making him feel like he can trust telling me anything. I worked hard at earning his absolute trust. I don’t play games, being hard on him, don’t bring up an ex. I want him to feel ease with me. And I let him know I’m absolutely supporting him and want to be his woman.
Another advice has nothing to do on him. It’s about you. How you can keep attracting him? As a man, I tell you what attract us. I can’t explain why in psychological terms, a woman who is comfortable in her own shoes, happy, confident, has her own life, and is perfectly fine being single, will drive us nuts. This is the type of woman men generally like to commit to. The minute you come off as needy is when we back off.
So, instead of wondering what you can do to change him, why not focus on you. Live your life, have fun, date other people, and don’t wait around for him. He’ll see this and maybe he’ll come around. Maybe he won’t. Either way, you’ll be just fine.