Whoever said that breaking up with someone is just as hard as being broken up with was, in my humble opinion, a freaking idiot. A big, fat liar. Not much in life sucks worse than having the object of your affection end your relationship. Your guy could be the biggest loser on earth, but as soon as he walks away he looks like a million bucks, doesn\u2019t he? Oh sure, we\u2019ll say things to ourselves like \u201cWhatever!\u201d and \u201cGood riddance.\u201d But what we\u2019re really feeling is more along the lines of \u201cHow could he do that to me?\u201d and \u201cWhy doesn\u2019t he want me?\u201d I know this because, just like every single one of you, I have been there as well. Let me be honest:\u00a0 In my younger years, I rarely handled myself well in a break up. I was the queen of the \u201cdisappearing act\u201d (why bother to call back if you don\u2019t want to see him anymore?), the guru of the \u201cblow up\u201d (usually followed by the \u201cstorm out\u201d), and (when I was on the receiving end) the master of the \u201cbeg and plead.\u201d Just trust me when I say it was never pretty. It was total bad news\u2026 But the good news is there IS a way to handle yourself when a man decides to leave you \u201cin search of greener pastures.\u201d And here\u2019s the beauty of it: Not only will you be able to hold your head up high, but there\u2019s also a damn good chance that he will (in about five seconds) regret his decision.\u00a0 Because, duh, you\u2019re a catch. He\u2019s just an idiot. It\u2019s very simple, but it will take a lot of self-control and tongue biting. Are you ready? Here it is: LET. HIM. GO. That's right. Let him go. Agree with him. Tell him that you\u2019ve been thinking the same. Even if you haven\u2019t (it\u2019s OK to lie a bit when you\u2019re getting dumped - I promise). Keep everything short and sweet. Thank him for being \u201cman enough\u201d to say what needed to be said. And then hang up the damn phone or walk the hell away. End of story. (You can cry at home.) Do NOT, under any circumstance, say something to the extent of the following:\u00a0 \u201cYeah, well let me tell you something. You\u2019re a complete a-hole. You dress for crap, your jokes aren\u2019t funny, and I faked every orgasm.\u201d Don\u2019t even go there, sister. All that\u2019s going to do is make you look like a psycho bitch (which he probably thinks most women are anyway) and will confirm in his mind why he\u2019s dumping your ass. You\u2019ll be thinking it, of course. But do not say it. In fact, say almost nothing. Further, it\u2019s never a good idea to ask \u201cWhy?\u201d (or the even more pathetic version, \u201cWhhhhy are you dooooing this to meeee?\u201d). Really, who the heck cares? The bottom line is he doesn\u2019t want you anymore, so why worry WHAT his reasons are. It\u2019s very likely that (a) he doesn\u2019t really even know himself, (b) he won\u2019t be straight up about it anyway, and (c) all it will do is hurt you. One of my all time favorite relationship quotes is \u201cIf he was stupid enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him go.\u201d Amen. You obviously won\u2019t feel this way at first. Oh no. And that\u2019s OK. But keep telling yourself this simple mantra and eventually you\u2019ll believe it. Especially after you meet the next guy\u2026 The less emotion you show the better. Let\u2019s face it, he\u2019s expecting you to show emotion. So no anger, no tears, no nuthin\u2019. Wait until you\u2019ve said your short and sweet \u201cThank you and goodbye.\u201d Once he\u2019s out of earshot\/eyeshot\/the range where he could hear a sonic boom go off, you have my permission to scream, cry, swear, throw things, drive to your nearest McDonald\u2019s and order everything on the dollar menu. I don\u2019t care what you do. Just don\u2019t do it in front of him. And make sure he doesn\u2019t find out about it either. Don\u2019t call one of his \u201cbros\u201d and say, \u201cDo you know what your a-hole friend did?\u201d And don\u2019t take a hit out on him on your Facebook page (I know this is tempting. TRUST ME.). Of course I\u2019m going to allow you some time to wallow in your misery. I\u2019ve never really been able to figure out how long is an appropriate amount of time to mourn a lost love. My college relationship lasted over two and half years. I was over it in about five seconds. I dated one guy for four months. After I walked in on him having sex with another girl, it took me nearly a year to recover. Who can say? But I do know there are things you can do to speed up the process. Here\u2019s how I survived my last "relationship" and \u201cbreak up\u201d: 1. Gather your \u201dArmy of Bitches\u201d These are your two or three best girlfriends who will hold your head to their chest as you sob and wail. But they\u2019ll also talk tough and tell you the deal straight up. I like my comrades to have diverse skills. One of my girls is very wise and spiritual and said deep and profound things which made me see things in a different light. Another is the \u201cmean\u201d one who told me, \u201cI don\u2019t know why you liked him anyway. He was ugly.\u201d And lastly there\u2019s my friend who listens more than she talks. She would let me go on and on (and on) until the wee hours of the night, usually over a bottle of vodka. Whoever your army is, gather the troops quickly and warn them that the battle ahead may be long and arduous. But no lives will be lost and you\u2019re all going to make it home just fine. Eventually. 2. Do The Things You Enjoy Doing (And Maybe Didn\u2019t Do\/Stopped Doing When You Were With Him).\u00a0 Again, the \u201cwhat\u201d you do isn\u2019t as important as just doing it. One of my friends gave me this piece of advice and I am so grateful. At first I was like, \u201cWhat the heck do I like doing that\u2019s just for me?\u201d Shopping? Ummm, yeah, but that can be dangerous (i.e. expensive). Fine dining? Great. Don\u2019t have anyone to do that with. Wait a sec!\u00a0 WRITING. And so that\u2019s what I did. Use your free time to rediscover an old love or to maybe find a new one. And one that has nothing to do with a man\u2026 3. Stop Thinking About Him.\u00a0 Just stop. Force yourself. If he pops into your head, banish him. It\u2019s hard at first. But it does get easier. And whatever you do -- DO NOT contact him. No calls, no texts, no emails, no FB wall posts. I\u2019m serious. Do not even \u201clike\u201d a status update he puts on his page. In fact, just take him off your Newsfeed altogether, mmkay? And whatever you do, please don't "accidentally" run into him. No contact means NO CONTACT OF ANY KIND. Nada. Got it? 4. Never Underestimate the Power of Music.\u00a0 Songs that remind you of him need to be taken OFF the\u00a0iPod. Songs that make you feel good and strong and happy should be played over and over again. I have a personal favorite break up song. It\u2019s \u201cAlready Gone\u201d by The Eagles (does this make me old??). The words are amazing. And every time I listen to it, I feel f-ing fantastic. Here\u2019s the fun part: While you\u2019re doing all of this, and assuming that you conducted yourself with grace and dignity during the actual break up, the poor bastard is going to be very, very confused. He\u2019s going to wonder why you didn\u2019t react, why you didn\u2019t try to change his mind. He\u2019s thinking, \u201cWow. I guess she wasn\u2019t really that into me.\u201d And this is going to mess with his head. Big time. Suddenly, you\u2019re not the girl he dumped. Nope. You\u2019re the girl who got away. Correction: You are the classy, emotionally together, cool chick who got away. (Little does he know, right?!?) I have a theory that all men eventually come back around -- unless of course you acted like a complete lunatic. (In that case, he will RUN if he ever sees you\/hears your name mentioned again.) Usually, they seem to do this at the exact moment we are over them. Strange how that works, isn\u2019t it? If you follow my advice, I would give it at least a 75% chance he\u2019ll be banging down your door in oh, say, one to three months. Tops. Then it will be up to you to decide if you want him anymore. Which you probably won\u2019t.