Why do men lie even about small things? This is one of the hardest things women could understand, at least according to my wife’s explanation. I’m not talking about cheating or infidelity, because this happens on both men and women. What I want to discuss here is the lying behavior about little things in our daily life.
I’ll share a real story from my friend’s relationship.
It’s about my friend John. John is in a relationship and one day he got a call from his ex girlfriend that she will be in town for a few days and wanted to meet up. So John went to meet his ex after work. They went to a cafe and had the “catch up” with each other. He went home late and told his girlfriend about it.
Guess what? His girlfriend didn’t think that was all and thought there was something going on about it. She insisted that John had feeling about his ex. John tried to explain to her but it didn’t work. The more he tried to explain the more she thought there was something going on. John got so frustrated at that night.
However, they got over this thing and moved on. About two months later, there was a new female intent in John’s company assigned to work with him. One Friday, they worked over time because of their company’s new product launch and they were stressed. She asked John if he wanted to have a drink after work, John agreed because they all need a drink to release their stress.
They went out to have a drink and John went home late that night, but he told his girlfriend because he had a flat tier. When John told me about this story, he said sometimes just lie to his girlfriend is a much better solution for both of them.
I want to make it clear here that I’m not trying to put men’s lying behavior to a reasonable ethical position. What I want is to look at this behavior from a different angle and try to understand the logic behind.
I’ve done some readings and observations on myself. I can explain the reason from my own experience and perspective. It might not be a hundred percent correct. You’re welcome to leave any thought in the comment.
1. Trying to make things easier.
People always say women have the sixth sense and it’s quite accurate. However, the active sense might kill men’s patience. Like John’s story, when he told his girlfriend about meeting his ex. His girlfriend’s active sense immediately started to imagine about something unrealistic. No matter how John explained, that imagination didn’t go at all. Instead, the more John explained the more she thought John was making excuses to cover the truth.
If telling the truth would cause such headache to a man, why would they do? A lot of times in relationships, men just want to make things easier.
2. Don’t want to hurt women’s feeling.
This is relative to the first one. When men tell you the truth your active sense and imagination would not only give him a headache but also to hurt your feeling. Men certainly don’t want to hurt their woman. So they intend to find other excuses to tell you.
3. Want to impress you or they don’t feel like its good enough without lying.
Men like to impress you and to get your appreciation. It boosts his confidence and when he feels good he will like to do more good things for you. In order to impress you they will choose to lie about something they think it’s not good enough, like their background, their ex…all most can be everything.
After all, when we look at all these reasons we can find one thing that has connection with all these reasons. That is men want to make their life easier, no matter what the purpose is.
However, I must say no matter how we think the logic of lying, it seldom works because most of time women can figure it out. And in long term it’s going to hurt the relationship, because once you lie about one thing you have to make more lies to cover this lie. It’s hard to remember all the lies you made. I’d rather choose to be honest, because I don’t have a good memory to remember all the lies.