Men often are clueless about what it takes to start and maintain a great relationship. They usually enter relationships for the short-term versus the long haul. What advice can we give them? How do you change that mindset?
Men should stop listening to women. Females say they want one thing, but when observed, it’s very obvious they want something else. So, the best advice for men is to begin to observe more. One way to “listen” to women by observation is to look at the type of men they choose.
For example, a woman might say “I want a man who listens to me”. But then she chooses just the opposite. She chooses a guy who monopolizes and dominates the conversation and stifles her communication. How do they show or demonstrate what they want? Just observe what kind of men they choose.
Next, a woman will say, “I want a guy who is funny, one who can make me laugh.” But she date the boring guy who has money. Now why is there such a chasm between what a woman says she wants and what she actually does as far as dating goes? It’s because she has programs running beneath her consciousness in the subconscious.
These motivators are strongly influencing her desires to get together with men, but she may not recognize them on the conscious level. That’s why we seek to offer this advice to men. Biologically, the reason for men and women to get together is to procreate.
True, getting pregnant is the last thing on her mind when evaluating a man. Yet, on the subconscious level, she’s thinking about her baby’s father. These subconscious desires will rule the day (and the night.) Now, the conversation in her head goes something like this. Is the good dad someone who will enjoy engaging her in conversation? No, not necessarily.
He is someone who will make sure the babies are fed, clothed and educated. The person who can provide for a family is someone who has confidence in himself to provide food on the table. Bottom line, a woman would rather eat than talk.
Women need men who can be good providers. Men can father children well into their 90′s, but a woman only has about 400 opportunities to produce a baby. The net result? She wants a long-term honey with money to take care of those babies. Therefore, a man who tells a woman he is a lawyer, versus a paralegal is more likely to win her affection and heart. She understands clearly that a lawyer is a better provider for her future family than a paralegal.
But, does money solve all the problems? In addition to having money, a woman needs to perceive that a man is generous with his resources and will in fact provide for her children. This is one of the reasons women highly value gifts of jewelry.
When asking a woman’s hand in marriage, the engagement ring is a large purchase. Yes, it’s traditional and romantic, but it also is a material example of a man’s ability to provide for a family. What is even more interesting is the fact that in our modern world, brains make more money than brawns.
Yet, women are programmed with the strong hero complex. They view strength as the ability to provide. That’s why even when it can be documented in the form of financial records, i.e. tax returns, etc, the woman is hardwired to choose the lineman over the computer geek.