A married couple may sleep next to each other every night and, even with work commitments, they may also get to see each other and spend a little time together, but, somehow, one, or both, feels lonely.
One of the problems associated with loneliness in a marriage is that even when busy spouses are not actually busy, they still appear to be – pre-occupied with their own thoughts, planning the next day’s necessary business strategies, or even simply a shopping list!
Ideas, thoughts, plans, and often even random glimpses of fun that happen to find their way into busy minds, are too often kept just there – inside the minds.
Not speaking to each other, other than when it is absolutely necessary, is no good, and a recipe for disaster. Communication is key, not only to help avoid loneliness, but also as the secret to warding off many other marital issues. Do you really want to consider the stress, and expense, of a divorce, when the solution to many spouse’s issues is easily available? In addition to the usual turmoil associated with divorce, it’s likely that if you get divorced you may very well end up even lonelier!
Working out why you are feeling lonely, neglected, or excluded from your loved one’s attention will certainly help start the recovery process.
You know you’re feeling down, almost depressed, and even desperate, but do you know exactly why? Don’t let negative feelings stop you from sorting out the problem! Get comfortable, relax, use paper and pencil if it helps, and ask yourself a few questions, the answers to which can help narrow down exactly what it is that might be causing you to feel so lonely:
In which situations do you feel most miserable?
Where are you at the time?
What is said or done at the time?
Do not forget to also ask yourself the same questions a second time, but this time related to when you don’t feel alone at all. When do you feel loved and special?
What is your opinion of your partner? Is it justified, or fueled by anger and confusion because of how you’re feeling? Is your spouse really greedy? If you want more attention, are you also offering more in return?
Are there other work opportunity options if you’re away from each other a lot due to business meetings or travelling?
If work commitments are keeping the two of you apart, and you’re feeling angry about it, are you prepared to consider doing more trivial things together? Things that may not have been previously considered quality time, but that have the possibility of improving your closeness, and reducing the feelings of isolation you’re experiencing?
Perhaps the two of you have already tried methods of solving busy spouse’s issues only to find that they didn’t work, but have you tried all the methods available yet? Are you really going to just give up?
If you and your spouse seem to have no problems at all, are happy, communicate a lot, yet still feel lonely and just can’t understand it, then put your pretty heads together and get creative with your thoughts as to why. And laugh about it when you realize that you’re so pre-occupied and busy – with each other – that you’ve avoided seeing friends and family in months!
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