Mind & Soul

A Truth About Romance Relationships They say true love will last for all eternity? You know, like you see in plays such as "Romeo and Juliet." Here these two star-crossed lovers passionately fall for one another, and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Of course, we conveniently forget that they were driven to commit suicide shortly after. This brings me to my point. Although the concept of romance relationships sounds like a wonderful ideal that should last forever, it's not. And if you're thinking of using Romeo and Juliet as an example, forget it! The time they had together was only a matter of days. If they had lived and spent a few years together, it wouldn't be the same. It can't be. That would go against the natural cycle we see in every other couple/relationship on this planet. Romance tends to fade, or often even die. The reality is that we all have to work on our relationships and marriages. They will not simply take care of themselves. I find myself advising the younger folks that romance relationships just do not stay perfect. Sure, the beginning can seem phenomenal. Everything is new for both of you and you're excited to learn more and more about each other. Unfortunately, you do exactly that, and then you discover that there's no more mystery. You suddenly realize that you're spending all of your time together and things start to get routine. Before you know it, you're living together or married and have a child on the way. Say goodbye to romance relationships and hello to the mundane. Okay, wait a minute! I'm not trying to completely dismiss or disregard marriage or long-term relationships. After all, this is what I happily have in my life. I'm only pointing out that the "honeymoon stage" will indeed fade. This is when you really need to consciously start making time for one another and trying your best to spice things up. Put some mental energy and effort into it. You can even find advice on romance relationships in books or the web. Maybe you will run across something new that sounds ideal for you and your significant other. New can often be a good thing. Real relationships need real work. When it comes to romance relationships, I'll readily admit that I'm not an "expert". However, I am one that is willing to work hard to better what I have. You want to know why? Because it's worth it. You may have fallen in love with your partner long ago, and since then the love/passion may have faded a bit, but now you can choose to love them forever, or not. It certainly takes effort from both parties, but is totally possible, and actually not all that hard once you accept the responsibility to know what you want and to make it happen for you. How To Fix Relationship Issues Sometimes in life, our relationships with our loved ones become problematic. It may be a relationship with our children, our siblings, our friends, colleagues or associates, or many times it is our relationship with our husband, wife or significant other that is in trouble. In any case we are left wondering how to fix relationship issues that interfere with our happiness and fulfillment. You will often hear that communication is the key to overcoming relationship issues. In many cases, it is true, because if you cannot diagnose the problem due to a lack of information, or if underlying feelings and emotions are causing one or both parties to react irrationally, better communication is the first step. Everyone needs to be able to lay it all out there in the open before a resolution to the relationship conflict can proceed. That means you must have the courage to speak your mind even at the risk of a backlash, although a tactful presentation of your perceptions in the matter is definitely well advised, as you don't want the other person to stop listening to you due to an accusatory tone in your voice. If the person you are speaking to feels the need to become defensive, they may not hear what you are actually saying and only hear what they think you are saying. It also means you must be willing to hear your partner out, and be willing to listen patiently to what they have to say so you can carefully discern the meaning in the message, and behind the message. You need to be able to take the time to ponder whether their complaint has any basis in truth, and if you are sure it is invalid, why they do feel that way. In discussing how to fix relationship issues, it has to be noted that improving communication may only be the first step. Once we have an understanding of where each of us is at, we next need to consider where we may be at fault, or at least where we may be able to change the patterns that got our relationship into trouble. No matter how much we are or aren't at fault, there is always something we can handle differently which can stop us from falling into the same old patterns and going around in circles, making no real progress. Finally, we will need to hone and exercise our negotiating skills. Obviously, we are in this relationship for a reason, and it doesn't make sense to let things between us destroy that relationship. Let's focus on the positive aspects of the relationship and think about how we want it to move forward towards a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. To do that, we will need to learn to negotiate our differences, keeping in mind that some things are really minor and petty in the grand scheme of things. Ignore those things, and focus only on the larger issues that need a concerted effort to resolve. This article cannot tell you specifically how to resolve your relationship problems because every situation is unique, though you can be sure many people have been in a similar situation before. Depending on the nature of your particular problem, you may want to consult people you know who may have had similar problems, online forums discussing the same topic, marriage or relationship counselors, or even local support groups if necessary. Understanding how to fix relationship issues boils down to these first essential steps - - communicating openly, evaluating, and negotiating. Many problems will be resolved just by applying these steps earnestly, but if you run up against an insurmountable obstacle, don't be afraid to look for outside help, either in more detailed self-help resources or with a professional relationship counselor. Relationship Problems And Advice To Spice Things Relationship problems and advice here and there spices up your relationship. Tolerant and companionable are sweet ways to be, but a dash of daring and a sprinkle of surprises will perk up your marriage. Here is some free relationship advice for the ladies: Attend to your personal care. Pamper yourself with an aromatic bath, style your hair, and dress up nicely. Reinvent yourself. Enhance your assets and make improvements both you and your partner will like. Make it simple and inexpensive, just a subtle way of spicing up the attraction. Make routines more pleasurable. Share your chores, enjoy riding to work together, or join each other for lunch. Sneak away from the kids. Leave notes on pillows or in pockets, and spoon when you sleep. Lose your many expectations. They only make you remember what wasn’t and not what was. Help him out a bit. Why not drop a hint when a birthday or anniversary is coming up? Tell him exactly what you like. It may not always be his idea, but it will always be to your mutual enjoyment. Don’t wait for him to read your mind, or you’ll end up disappointed, adding to your already long list of disappointments. By the way, scrap that list. Dwell on the happiest moments of your life. You can reminisce on these together. Not every couple can afford to jet-set to a romantic hideaway whenever they feel like it. It just doesn’t happen for everyone who’s dealing with a mortgage and college. Improvise. Visit the place where you met, your favorite restaurant, or stroll along the beach. Hold hands. Frolic like kids. What the heck, you two deserve a break. Relationship problems and advice for men only: Say you love her. Say it with flowers. If she’s allergic to flowers, say it with chocolates. If she stays away from sweets because they’re fattening, be tactful enough and give her something she likes. Buy her that dress she’s been eyeing. Get her that membership she’s wants. Buy her some fruits. Go all the way and buy her some groceries to save her the trip. You don’t have to say it with diamonds, but if you want to then there’s no harm in that, is there? Put her picture on your desk, and have pictures taken of you together. Express interest in her hobbies, and invite her to yours. You can have your own worlds, but you can bring her into yours. Pamper her. Ask how she is, and how her day went. Take some of her chores when you know she’s really worn out. Let her sleep a few hours more. Wake her up with a kiss, or better yet, breakfast. Give her time out from the kids, and let her have her peace in the house. Take her on a holiday you both can afford. Hug and embrace her as often as you can, just because. Whisper “sweet nothings.” They make a girl’s knees turn to jelly. Say it with your eyes, and say it with your lips. Look at her the same way you did when you first fell in love. Stare at her from across the room, not critically, but lovingly of course. You’re the best person to know how really sexy she is. Don’t wait for other men to tell her for you. Socialize with other women only on platonic, friendly terms. Don’t let yourself ever hurt her that way. If you only know a few, simple ways to say you love her; it doesn’t really matter, does it? Just mean it. Say it in not so many ways, but mean it. That’s all she really cares about. That’s why she loves you and why she’ll love you always. It’s because you say what you mean and you mean what you say. And then lastly, if you have relationship problems and advice is needed, don’t hesitate to seek help! Lots of advice for relationship problems is free for grabs if you look for them.