If you’re serious about being successful using online dating services, then the best way to begin is to simply post your own ad.
Today you’ll notice that photo personals are extremely popular online. When you’re using top online dating services, you’ll usually get the opportunity to post more than one photo of yourself along with your profile for people to view. You should be aware that if you do not post any photos, then you will probably not get many replies to your ad and hence, you’ll be missing out on most of what your membership has to offer.
Hence, we highly recommend that you upload at least one photo with your ad. The basic reason being is that personal ads with a photo bring 5 to 10 times more responses than ads without photos.
However, many people don’t want to post photos of themselves on their profile. Why is this? Especially when photo personals work so well! We can’t stress this enough. If you want to be successful with online dating, then begin by adding at least a single photo of yourself.
If you’re curious why photos create higher responses, it’s because when you first meet someone, you look at their face and will either be drawn to its appearance or not. In the end, it’s simply because people can see what you look like and all those who are attracted to you will feel they’ll be able to form a link with you and make contact.
Keep the final resolution down so that the file is easily accepted on the website. If you don’t know much about cameras and photo images, then just recruit a friend to assist and they can take some nice shots of you too. Note: If this sounds difficult, rest assured it’s not, rather it’s actually easy to do. So don’t let the apparent “complications” scare you away from posting your photo with your personal ads.
Next, it’s very important that you use a realistic and recent photo of yourself that is an accurate portrayal of who you are. We often see photos of models on the internet and virtually everyone knows instantly that they are of models. This means that people seeing this model photo are highly unlikely to contact them. A nice natural photo of a real female or male will attract others to write to you. And a glamour studio photo won’t.
To help you get that nice natural photo, remember that smiling is critical to the photo you use. For you ladies, hot and sultry can work too. Usually, an old photo you have on hand may not help you much.
Most people like side profiles. It tells the viewer almost everything they need or want to know.
Here are some tips to remember when using photo personals and online dating services:
- Always add a photo to your profile
- Take a lot of photos and use the best
- Buy a disposable camera (or even a digital camera for its versatility)
- Make sure the photos are recent
- Make sure you are smiling in them or at least presenting the best image
- Try and keep the photo file size down
- Make sure the photo is bright and clear
- Make sure it is an accurate portrait of you now
- Add more than one photo if possible and rotate them periodically
- Don’t add revealing sexy shots
- Try and avoid web cam shots which are grainy
- In case you’re thinking about not using a photo, just remember that photo personals are very popular and generate 5 to 10 times more responses for your ad
It’s also important to use a valid email address when signing up. It’s usually best to use a free email account, such as Yahoo! Mail or Hotmail, to prevent receiving any spam. Just don’t forget to check your new mailbox regularly!
Additional Personal Ads Writing Tips for Men
Don’t get any replies? That’s the most frequent complaints men share with us about online dating.
Guidelines – How to Write Effective Personal Ads
- Be Honest. The quickest way to wreck what might have been a beautiful relationship is to not tell the truth. Hide the fact that you are a single father of 7 year-old twins, and you’ll miss a chance to find the woman who wants to love them and share your parental pleasures.Dishonesty will always be found out sooner or later. Allow others to make informed decisions about what they will and will not accept, based on an honest depiction of yourself.
- As an in-shape person, you would likely be disappointed to learn that the woman you’ve been writing for the last month weighs 230 pounds, and not the 130 as stated. She may feel likewise to learn you are a U.S. Senator, instead of the sole object of your adoration!
- Be truthful and then you’ll avoid the pain, heartache, disappointment and the regrettable separation caused by your dishonesty. Open yourself up to incredible happiness by allowing others to love you as you are, for who you are. As the old saying goes, honestly is always the best policy. It really is!
- Create a ‘Grabber headline’. A ‘grabber headline’ is an attention-getting headline which stands out above the rest and demands to be read. There are many, many ‘DWM’s, 38, seeking love’ out there. So be different, even if you ARE a ‘DWM, 38, seeking love’. Check out competitive ads. What attracts your attention to certain ads? Note those which stand out have clarity and are original, personal, and usually are direct. What can you say about yourself in a single sentence which makes you alluring to the opposite sex?If you truly are seeking love and a long-term relationship, then your statements about the length, size and shape of certain ‘physical’ attributes are a huge turn-off to women who seek men of intellectual, spiritual and emotional substance. Plus any pornographic headlines are not accepted into most personals ad posting systems. If you are well-endowed as well as you have a fabulous sense of humor, then use your gift of humor! Nothing attracts so quickly as laughter and a good-natured person.
- Be Specific. You know who you are and what you want … so simply tell them about it! Almost everyone seems to enjoy ‘candlelight dinners, moonlit walks and strolls on the beach’. Instead, be specific about the values you hold and are seeking, in addition to naming your hobbies and interests. If you know your soul-mate is a Christian, then say so. If you are resolute about staying childless, then express that too. State your honest desire to travel or not. A woman in London may not respond when she notes you live in Los Angeles, if you fail to mention that geographic location is not a barrier. What is your personal passion? Share it. That woman who understands and appreciates it best, is the one who will reply.
- Be Positive. Let your normal excitement and passion for life shine through in your writing. Being negative will always repel readers. You may instead get an offer from a counseling service if you present a woeful or suicidal attitude. You’ll simply guarantee that you won’t attract your soul-mate by being negative.
- Best Foot Forward. Hopefully, you wouldn’t show up on a first date unwashed and unkempt, would you? So likewise, if your spelling skills are a bit lacking, it’s definitely better to consult a dictionary or use spell check before submitting your otherwise artfully crafted and well-thought-out personal ad.
- Be Honest, Be Honest, and again Be Honest! This is the one critical area that simply cannot be over-stated!!
Additional Personal Ads Writing Tips For Women
Ladies, you should be prepared to be flooded with more inquirers than you ever dreamed possible! The Internet is very much male-dominated, and this time, use it to your advantage!
Certain facts about men and women are not going to change, and one of them is that most men will look first for a pretty face. So, if you are looking for a man who is interested in YOU…your mind, spirit and heart, in addition to your attractive face, then your ad must be written to appeal to the type of man you seek.
Whenever you study successful personal ads which have acquired several hundred responses in a few short months and which most of these responses the writer considered ‘qualified’ = happy, intelligent, emotionally mature, consciously-aware professionals…you’ll notice that the writer described herself first. Knowing that compatibility is essential to successful relationships, the successful ad writer primarily described a man with a personality profile similar to hers.
So, who are you and what do you want? Think about it. Make a list of everything that is important to you. This may take some time, but this is absolutely time worth spending. A few hours, or days is but a blink of the eye in the grand scheme of things when compared to spending years in misery with an incompatible man, or a lifetime with your soul-mate. Choose the latter and then do your homework!
Now you are ready to write your personal ad. Create a ‘grabber’ headline, a single line, designed to attract attention to your ad. Avoid the typical, over-used ‘DWF, 41, seeks partner’….you and five million others fit this description. Humor works well. Scan other ads and see which ones attract your attention. This is a great guide on how to write successful ads that will help you locate your future soul-mate.
The Best Way to Reply to a Personal Ad
After you have signed up to an online dating site, it’s time to contact other singles! Most online dating services will allow you to send anonymous email through their sites.
If you want to make the first contact after reading someone’s profile, keep in mind this advice:
Write Interesting Subject Lines in Your Email Reply
It is quite possible that the other person may receive quite a lot of email. Chances are, most people will be writing boring subject lines, like “Hi :)”.
Make your subject line interesting – get noticed! Once you have their attention, they are much more likely to open and read your email.
Originality should not end at the Subject line. Don’t use the same generic email for all your first contacts. If you can’t be bothered making a personal first contact, why are you using an online dating service?
Read their personal ad and think of something unique to say to them. You might mention that you have a few things in common, or you might ask about a hobby that they have.
Take some time to craft an email that reads well. Don’t ask 20 questions, and don’t talk solely about yourself. Comment on their profile, ask some questions, and talk a little bit about yourself.
Other Conversation Ideas
Ask them a few questions about the area they live in. Tell them a little about your area. If you live in the same area, ask what the think about a local or nearby landmark, club, shopping center, etc. Ask them about their ideal vacation, or their ideal city/town. Where would they go, and why?
This can help you analyze how much you have in common – i.e., someone who loves wild water rafting in New Zealand may not be the best match for someone who enjoys art galleries in Paris! Ask about their favorite date, or what their ideal date would be like? This again can help you determine if you both have a lot in common.
Also, you can get a few ideas about where you could take them on your first date! Ask what movies they have seen recently, what are their all time favorite movies, or who their favorite celebrities are. Ask similar questions about books and music. Try to think of a few really interesting questions.
The more bizarre, the better! If your questions can make them laugh, there is a good chance that you will get a positive response.
Don’t start talking about past relationship disasters – or any other life disasters – in your first email. Leave those topics of conversation until later.
If you keep your emails happy and amusing, the recipient will want to reply. Remember that you need to present yourself in the best light.
Spelling, punctuation, and grammar is also extremely important. Proofread your email thoroughly before you send it through. This is your one and only chance at making a great first impression!