Mind & Soul

Love, mutual respect and trusting your partner forms the backbone of any happy relationship. Marriage or live in relationships are known to be a new beginning anyone’s life. Everyone cherishes the sweet memories of their first honeymoon, and wants their whole life to be just the same. However, sometimes, thing do not work out the way we intend them to. With the passage of time, the relationship which once was so fulfilling loses its charm. A little verbal spat, altercation, or disagreement over trivial issues is part of every relationship. Most couples fight, consider breaking up and soon they realize living without their partner is not easy, hence they kiss and then make up. However, sometimes the situation we find ourselves in is not easy to deal with. When it gets a little sticky and the husband or the wife starts treating their spouse with disrespect. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is most definitely the root cause of any “abusive relationship”. Unfortunately, if any of you are stuck in an abusive relationship, it makes s no sense to tolerate the mistreatment lying down. Many are under the misconception, that tolerating the misbehavior of your spouse will fix the problem, however it is just the other way round. It only makes it worse. You should wait no more and take action immediately. Read onto know more about, how to get out of an abusive relationship. To begin with, you have to be sure, whether you really are in an abusive relationship. Now you might come up asking, how do I know that? What is perfectly normal for your partner may be objectionable for you, or vice versa. For example, for many it is okay to physically hurt their partner while having sex. At the same time, your partner might expect you to do certain things, which you are not comfortable doing. If you are undergoing physical torture, you most definitely are in an abusive relationship. Nonetheless, abuse can be of various types, which are not easy to detect. Physical abuse This is by far the most common type of abuse. It includes things like body pulling, beating or any other kind of physical assault. These are criminal offenses, nobody should bear such treatment. The offenders should be dragged to court, sued and put behind the bars. Emotional Abuse There is another kind of abuse and that is emotional or verbal. If your partner is ways picking on you, scolding and insulting you over trivial matters, it could very well be a case of emotional abuse. It is very common for abusive partners to traduce their spouses about their family background and profession or education of parents. Some always traduce their spouses about their appearance or reputation in the society. Continuous verbal abuse can very well lead to low self esteem and depression. Sexual Abuse Abusing ones partner sexually is perhaps the most common type of abuse. According to any, it is part and parcel of married life. Both the partners should have consent in having sex. Forcing your partner in having sex is nothing but marital rape. Very often, many try to satisfy their sexual fantasies with their spouses, which could be objectionable, painful and humiliating for the other one. Compelling someone do something that they are not comfortable with, may impact him or her in a very bad way. It could lead to low self esteem and even psychological disorder. Whenever, we are faced with any challenges in our life, our attitude should be to solve it rather than quitting. At first, do make all possible attempts to save your marriage or the relationship you are in. Maybe, your partner is mistreating you, because you are not treating him or her, they way they deserve to be. Put yourself in their shoes, and make changes if required. Nonetheless, after trying out everything possible, if things do not get taken care of, it is time to take the tough discussion. Not have a wavering mind about it, accepting to live with any problem is not going to fix it, but will make it even worse. For any assistance, you can always contact National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. You have to live on your own Once you have made up your mind to leave your spouse, the first thing you should take into consideration is money! You either need a steady source of income or should have enough money to sustain on your own. You should start saving money without letting your partner know about it. In case you do not have a bank account, it is high time you open one. You can also claim your share in your spouse’s income, in case you are legally married. If there is a property, jointly in your and your spouse’s name, makes sure you divide it as soon as possible. You have to slowly disengage yourself from your partner Start to disengage from your partner. Do not pay much attention to his or her discussion or show any interest. Make sure that your partner does not come to realize that you are planning to leave him or her. Many abusive partners have the tendency to injuring their partners when they learn that they are being dumped. While, some temporarily stop treating their partners badly in order to appease them and get back to their old habits after a few days. Bar access to all your account Some abusive partners have the mentality to boss over their partners and they make the other to give out details to every record they might have. It may include the bank account details, email credentials or even phone password. When you are planning to leave him or her, you have to change all the credentials so that they cannot track your whereabouts. You need care and sympathy Going through divorce or separation is a really horrible experience. Many develop inferiority complex, self pity and even try to commit suicide. Sharing your feelings with someone will always help you to get over such situations. Do get in touch with your relatives or close friends. One needs care and sympathy in such scenarios. Take the legal course If your partner is following you around even after being told that you do not want to stay with him or her. You can always file a complaint. Legal settlement may mean your partner paying some amount of money to you as well. Well, you cannot expect one to be happy after separation, but remember that your mentality shapes your reality. Laugh and the world laughs with you, and if you cry you will cry alone. Time heals all wounds and you are never too late to do the right thing. Be wise in choosing the right person and good things will happen!