Having kids is one of the most stressful events that happen in a marriage. A 2009 Texas A&M study showed that for most couples, happiness decreases after the birth of their first child. This is significant, since more than half of all married couples will have children.
Awareness of the problems facing couples with children can lead to solutions. There are definite steps they can take to help ease these stressors and become even closer to their spouse than they were before. How does a couple know when they need help? What online resources are available to help couples with children?
When to Seek Help
Couples with children can become overwhelmed quickly. Having a child changes every aspect of a couples relationship, physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual. A woman’s body changes, suddenly there’s a lot less sleep and sex, and a whole lot more responsibility. This is change, and change gives couples the opportunity to grow together, but these stresses can also cause couples to grow apart.
An article posted on Psychcentral.com offers useful pointers on how to handle three of the most common stressors that occur when a couple adds a child to the mix. They offer solutions to lack of sleep, lack of physical intimacy and the increase in responsibilities that parenting brings. They also suggest pre and post baby counseling for couples who are expecting. Most online family therapists offer pre-baby and post baby counseling services. Couples can check with the therapist they are interested in working with to make sure he or she is qualified in these areas.
Not all Couples have the Same Problems
Couples who already have children may also need help juggling their responsibilities. These additional responsibilities can affect couples in different ways. Some couples have trouble communicating, others let resentment build up until it reaches the breaking point, still more couples seethe silently, unhappy, but not knowing what to do about it.
Psychcentral.com offers a list of seven reasons a couple might need counseling, and can be a good starting place for couples who are wondering if they really need help. If one of the members of the couple finds himself nodding in agreement to one or more of the items on this list, it might be time for the couple to seek counseling help.
Psychology Today offers an online relationship health check for couples who have children. This test allows couples to see where their weak spots are. Knowing what they really need to work on helps couples plan their counseling sessions strategically, allowing them to get to the roots of their problems quickly and efficiently.
Why Online Counseling is a Solution
After children arrive, married couples might feel like they’re up a creek without a paddle. Overwhelmed, with more stress that ever, feeling angry and exhausted, couples often don’t know where to turn. Sometimes making a counseling appointment can seem too overwhelming to contemplate, and the logistics of getting a sitter for the kids and trying to organize everyones schedules can be harrowing.
This is what online counseling was invented for. Now more than ever before, couples have options. Couples can do online counseling from the comfort of their own homes while their children are in school or in bed. Couples can develop an online relationship with a counselor that can work with them individually over videochat or through messaging services to make it so convenient they’ll wonder why they didn’t do it sooner. Liveperson.com offers a list of online counselors that will work with couples for a fee. Talkspace.com also offers online counseling.
There really are no more excuses. Couples with kids can be living happier, healthier lives if they’re willing to reach out and ask for help through online resources.
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